Monday, March 28, 2011

New Beginnings


Lying in bed this morning, instead of milking every last moment for sleep, I started thinking about my next blog entry. I’ve been in Hollywood for so long, I didn’t know where to begin my next topic. So, I’m starting from the beginning. (Don’t worry. I’ll spare you the baby pictures.)

Transitioning from actress to writer hasn’t been all the fun and games (see: immediate success), I’d hoped it would be. Good things seemed to come to me more easily when I was younger. Or maybe I have a spotty memory. (Ask anyone who knows me personally, and they’ll tell you that’s true.)

When I came to LA, I had no stars in my eyes. I knew I was an actor. And I knew going back to Levittown wasn’t an option. I was determined to “make it” – not be famous, just make a living at my craft. If all the people I’d watched while I was growing up could do it, surely I could find a way to pay a reasonable rent. (No rats or roaches, please.)

I refused to get discouraged. Okay, I did get discouraged occasionally – like when my manager told me I needed to drop 30 pounds. (I only weighed around 130 at the time. And I have a medium-large frame.)  After haggling like a shopper at some freaky, body image flea market, I firmly told him I’d lose 10. It felt like a victory. Sort of…

I guess my point is that things didn’t necessarily come more easily when I was younger. It may have been easier to get an audition with a slim resume when I looked like a teenager. But, it’s not like there was a tremendous call for adolescent, black girls-next-door. (Quote: “Could you be more black?”) I put up with things. (Not the casting couch.) And I eagerly did what it took – including extra work, once upon a time – to make ends meet and keep the dream alive. (I was a terrible waitress.)

After finding some success with commercials and small parts in TV shows and movies, I actually found myself disappointed. It hadn’t been the big, creatively-fulfilling journey I’d expected. Now, I’m not knocking acting. I still love it. But, I longed for more meaning in my work – which is hard to get when you’ll jump every time your cell phone rings. (Another free message from my wireless company?! Man, I hate those guys.)

To make a long story, well… a little shorter… I started writing to keep what little sanity I had left. I needed an outlet. And I wanted to tell stories I thought weren’t being told – about complex characters I cared about. Some of them are funny. Some are obnoxious, timid, antagonistic, naïve… Whether they’re overcoming low self-esteem, personal tragedies, abandonment issues, fears of intimacy – or of being alone – a tormenting sibling, or competition in the workplace, their journeys are interesting to me. (I’m not alone here, am I? Is this thing still on?)

Anyway, virtually starting over on a new path definitely has its drawbacks. But, pursuing your passion has enormous perks. When I begin thinking my life is difficult, I take a look at the world and count my blessings. Then, if I have any perspective, I look at my career in a new light. One of my first acting jobs in LA was in a psychic hotline commercial with Nell Carter. And I was glad to have it. Me to NC: “I’m getting the best reading of my life!”

If I'd only known then what the future would truly hold…

12 comments:

  1. Sounds familiar, though my life is business and not as glamorous as yours sounds! writing though indeed has become a much-needed outlet and i find peace there...

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  2. I don't know what I'd do without it! (How many times can I redecorate? With the same furniture?!) I'm glad you're a fellow scribe. And trust me, my life's RARELY glamorous. ;)

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  3. Loved this post - fun, honest and brave at the same time! Thanks for sharing your story. I love reading about how people find writing (or is writing that finds us?). Can't wait to read about more of your fascinating journey :D

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  4. Thanks, Sam! I'm looking forward to your next post on Friday. I love your sense of humor. (Is it only Monday?!) I guess I'll have to get some writing done between now and then. ;D

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  5. Thanks, Isabelle! I'm following your lead! :)

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  6. Nice post Kenya! I was just in Hollywood...wish I would have known you were there, we could have met up!!!! Anyway, anything worthwhile takes lifetime commitment and effort...keep at it! I'm following your lovely blog here! Please check out mine..thanks!

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  7. I'm following your blog now, Katherine. Great post, by the way! I'm in it (writing) for the long haul -- until someone hands me a tray with six plates and six glasses of wine and yells at me to balance! Then, it might be time for me to retire. :)

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  8. Having followed the introduction from the SheWrites connection, I'm very glad I did! I like the way you write, and enjoyed the inside track on Hollywood. Losing 30lbs when you were only 130lbs?! That way madness lies...or rather the skeleton of {insert name of one of any number of starving lollipop ladies}...

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  9. I suffered through the lollipop syndrome many years ago, Deborah. Five grams of fat a day, blah, blah, blah... I can't go back to that. (Every once in a while, pizza tastes too good!) :) I'm enjoying/following your blog now. I wish you the best -- with your harem cushion tomatoes and The Lantern! ;)

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  10. "After haggling like a shopper at some freaky, body image flea market..." haha! I loved your analogy. You have an accessible, engaging style, Kenya. Looking forward to learning more about you.

    Stopped by from SheWrites.

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  11. Thanks, Scrollwork! I visited your blog a moment ago. You're a wonderful writer and artist. I look forward to learning more about you, too! :)

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