Friday, April 29, 2011

Royal Flushed?

While awaiting the coverage of the royal wedding… well, I was awake (as usual) and the TV was on… I fought a minor urge to watch the big to-do. Fortunately, the compulsion was fleeting.

The thought of sitting still for hours – while feeling like I should be multitasking – though appealing, is a bit like telling a 3-year-old not to touch anything in a giant toy or candy store. Sheer delight mixes with horror and increasing frustration as little, greedy eyes dance with the possibilities – of serious injury or severe obesity. (I did mention the stores were for giants, right?)

Instead of heading to a pub or giggling with girlfriends (because that’s what we do), I found myself writing and catching up on old episodes clogging my DVR. (I need a tiny plunger.) I was looking forward to The Mentalist. I’ve been a fan of Simon Baker's ever since I saw him in Something New, playing the love interest of a character named – you guessed it – Kenya. We became fast friends that eve. One day, I might even tell him – so he can update his restraining orders.

I’ve been so distracted with busywork and the occasional shiny object lately. So, I refused to give in to the curiosity of wondering what Kate's dress would look like live – as she sashayed (with an updo, I assume) down the aisle. I wish the happy couple well. I can only hope a few spectators with disposable cameras took a photo or two. Maybe Barbara Walters will post some online after The View.

Me? I’d rather solve a crime with the CBI and pretend I’d easily identified the guilty party before Act Two. Forty-four minutes scribbling random thoughts, fast-forwarding through commercials, checking email, playing video games, restoring TV justice (I didn’t get my giant toy or candy. I need to right some wrongs!) and fanning growing delusions of investigative grandeur…

How could that be wrong? It's all-American! Okay, well the lead actor of the show's Australian. But, isn't that close enough? I’m just trying to be practical, after all…

All those hats at the royal wedding could’ve sent me into sensory overload. (The first documented case of hat rage?) Plus, I have a much better chance of becoming a fake detective than a princess.


18 comments:

  1. So did you even get to sleep? I didn't bother watching it either. I figured there'd be a ton of updates on FB today and all the online news would probably be about it so...why wake up for it, right? ;-) Plus I know secretly I'm anti-norm, somehow, since everyone was doing it, haha!

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  2. I was up until 6:30 this morning, Joy. I'll admit I listened to a bit of the coverage while I wrote this post. I think it was all the pregame coverage that agitated me so much! I just did a cardio-boot camp workout mostly to relieve the urge to knock hats off of heads -- or at least to REALLY loosen some unsuspecting bobby pins. ;D

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  3. Hat rage? OMG, lady, that is hysterical! I have to say I did not watch the royal fiasco on the telly but I did get to see some of the photos and do you know why? Just so I could get a laugh at those funky hats! Imagine how much your comment resonated with me! Simon Baker...I'll fight you for him! hee hee! He's British and who wouldn've known with that swanky American accent of his!

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  4. Hey, you two, Simon Baker's mine, mine, mine ; ) Those downturned eyes are irresistible.

    Am the only one who thinks the bridal gown was anticlimactic? (Have you guys seen it yet?)

    Joy, I'm anti-hype too! Puts me in a quandary about how to market my online shop without getting put off by self-generated hype-r frippery.

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  5. Bella - SB does do a great American accent. But, I think his wife might have something to say about who claims the spoils of victory. By the way, your significant other must be VERY understanding. ;D

    Scrollwork - You too?! I haven't even put my mouthguard in yet! :D Those eyes are adorable. But, why did I picture you hopping up and down like Daffy Duck? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agLwIxiEk_c (Start watching around 5:35 into the video!) ;)

    I finally watched some of the wedding -- so I could answer your question... I thought the bride looked elegant and beautiful. But, there was so much hype and secrecy, I was expecting more. :)

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  6. *sneaks in and steals Simon Baker away*

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  7. Sam - You've earned one of my favorite lines from Jurassic Park -- delivered right before the character's chomped by a Velociraptor -- "Clever girl!" ;D

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  8. Kenya your posts even shows you are truly a novelist.I can say any better than i enjoyed the way you shared all that royal scenes, wrapping it up with a hat rage,sealed it perfectly.lol!! Thanks sharing.Meanwhile plz do visit my page read on freeing your mind and 5 steps to freeing your mind and comment to assist improve and share my works.
    Lovely day.
    EBENEZER.

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  9. So when do you sleep exactly Kenya? Off to watch "Something new", I had never seen Simon Baker in this one. Thanks for the tip.

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  10. Ebenezer - Thank you for your kind words! This is what my brain cooks up in the wee hours of the morning. I just visited and left a comment on your blog. :)

    Muriel - My sleep time varies. Two days ago, I accidentally took an hour nap while reading. Now, my body thinks 6:30 is a great time for bed. But, I'm glad I could expand your SB library! ;D

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  11. Well, as a true Brit, I feel bound to tell you I watched every second, while waving a small union jack flag with one hand and with a thermos flask of tea in the other...

    Thanks for the award, Kenya. (I have been away from the blogosphere for a few days to attend to above-mentioned royal matters, obviously.) Much appreciated.

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  12. You're welcome, Deborah! I hope the experience exceeded your expectations. (And I wouldn't have loosened YOUR bobby pins.) ;D

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  13. Hey Kenya -

    I planned on posting some fabulously sweet and kind words, but I see no one is wearing a ball cap except me.

    I'd would hate to set a girl off into a "furious fedora frenzy" and get Ninja'd out the door :P Cya ;)

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  14. Hey Charlie Nitric,

    Never fear. I'm back from my HRM (Hat Rage Management) classes. ;) The ladies won't hurt you. Or at the very least, they won't get caught doing it. (I hope that reassures you.) :)

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  15. Well I cried my eyes out, in private, very early in the morning, though my household still stood there with their hands on their hips demanding to know why I was buying into all the hoopla. Who knows why, a girl doesn't become a princess everyday you know...
    PS - and get some sleep, will you girl!?

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  16. Please tell me you were wearing a tiara, Cathy. That would make the picture in my head complete! ;D I hope your eyes are no longer red or puffy. Mine are only slightly red. But, I think it's permanent. :)

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  17. It's okay. I only saw a snippet and wasn't interested in watching that really. I mean, so much is going on that's so relevant and urgent. I know it's like looking into a live fairy tale book but well, I'd do better to write the book :-)

    www.totsymae.com

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  18. Or interviewing yourself, Tosh! I enjoyed your post. Now, about your multiple personalities... ;D

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