Monday, April 11, 2011

Napping

No, I’m not talking about my hair on a humid day. I’m talking about a good, old-fashioned nap! Like we took when we were kids – sprawled out on the floor (or a mat, if the daycare owners actually cared). 

Today, I took one of those. So, what’s the big deal? I don’t know. But, I needed it. I’d finished my taxes. Taken out the garbage. Checked the mail (and my email). Blah, blah, blah… I guess I don’t need to justify my body’s yearning for unconsciousness before 3 in the morning. But, I woke up renewed – not to be confused with a sudden state of undress.

I joke about sleep deprivation. But, being exhausted and groggy on a regular basis stinks. All those who sleep like babies, take my word for it. Fellow yawners, you have my sympathy. But, don’t mistake that as an invitation for grouchiness. I try never to use my powers of depletion for evil.

Now, birds aren’t suddenly landing on my finger. I’m not singing. Yet. And rodents aren’t dancing around my living room in some choreographed number. They’re fighting over cheese, as usual. They’re like those smart rats in The Secret of NIMH. So cute.

I love who I am. But, I also love sleep – boiled, fried, baked, grilled, mashed, whipped – however you can make it. Yum! I'd ask for seconds, but I don't want you to think I'm greedy. So, I'll push the plate away. The only kind I'm not partial to is probably rocky road...

The airbag always leaves such a lousy aftertaste.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Freebie Friday

At the risk of disappointing you, I won't be swapping identities today with one of those people who sprays you with unwanted perfume or cologne. Free is one of my favorite F-words. Fun. Fabulous. Fantastic. Fricassee. Fungi... I'll stop there. I might get too excited. (Plus, you must be riveted.)

Like my Facebook author page before midnight Thursday (April 14th) and you'll be automatically entered to win a FREE signed copy of Depth of Focus: A Novel! Two runners-up will win copies of the ebook for the device of their choice. (Just for clicking "like?" You'd do that for free, right?)

Winners will be notified by yours truly next Friday afternoon. (That's 4/15. Three more Fs!) Check out an excerpt on my site, Scribd, Goodreads or Smashwords to make sure it's worth the click.

With that out of the way, I can get back to other words. Now, what other ones start with W?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Taxation and Procrastination


I’ve been spinning a lot of plates the last few weeks – getting very little writing done. And I have the circus-act Carpal Tunnel Syndrome to prove it. What’s this you say? “Writers write!” Yes, I’ve heard that before. I’m still holding a grudge against the first person who told me I had to write every day to really be a writer. Actually, it’s more like I’m waiting in his bushes with a bag full of oranges – figuratively speaking, of course.

After being reprimanded for my lack of dedication – with the backs of my hands still stinging from their unprovoked attack – I promptly told the writer that I write whenever I can, whenever I’m inspired. (That didn’t go over well.) I informed him the frequency with which I wrote had nothing to do with my being an artist or not. Sitting at a desk and forcing myself to crank out work I wouldn’t be pleased with later because I wasn’t “in the zone” seemed counterproductive. (Hmm… Sound reasonable?)

Now, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I have to encourage my muse just by having my fingers poised over the keyboard – letting her know I’m willing to do her bidding. Lavishing her with praise might get me a page or two. Feeding her grapes? Depends on if I remembered to get her the seedless. (Yikes. No points for the spitting bowl?) My muse is a generous, but occasionally cruel mistress. (For example, she keeps moving the aforementioned zone.)

Starting my taxes this weekend made me think of all the weeks (or months or years) I can put off the things I need to do. One day, I plan to hire someone to do them all – except maybe the writing. I’ll invest in some wrist braces – strong enough for me to spin a plate or two… or six or seven. Until then, I have to punch procrastination in the face every once in a while – which is dangerous because writers are just like surgeons, right? Our hands save lives! I can’t risk damaging these digits. And don’t bother pointing to the Voice Recorder app on my phone or the Text to Speech software on my computer. Should a neurosurgeon record his/her performance?! (I’m so glad I found the right analogy.)

Uncle Sam doesn't usually give breaks with due dates.  All right, three extra days this year – April 18th – to his credit. I’m excited. But, I’ve never been one of those people who waits in line at the post office on the very last day. (Although, watching them on the news is kind of fun. I’ll have to set my DVR.)

When it comes to writing, more often than not, I set my own deadlines. It’s easy to procrastinate when those dates can be shifted.  (What? I just started watching Justified. I have to catch up on the episodes I’ve missed!) But, unless my schedule gets really busy in other areas, I honor my deadlines. Uncle Sam might give a few extra days here and there. My muse keeps her manicure short. She’s not a writer or a surgeon. And she always keeps a bag of navels in the car.

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